Famous Last Words

Famous Last Words
	I'll get a world record for this. Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press. It's fireproof. He's probably just hibernating. I'm making a citizen's arrest. So, you're a cannibal. It's probably just a rash. Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it? The odds of that happening have to be a million-to-one! Pull the pin and count to what? Which wire was I supposed to cut? I wonder where the mother bear is. I've seen this done on TV. These are the good kind of mushrooms. I'll hold it and you light the fuse. Funny, you look just like Charles Manson. Rat poison only kills rats. It can't possibly rain for forty days and nights. This doesn't taste right. I can make this light before it changes. Nice doggie. I can do that with my eyes closed. Well, we've made it this far. That's odd. Don't be so superstitious!

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Some Things to Ponder

1. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

3.Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

4.What's another word for synonym?

5.Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

7. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

8. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

9. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

10. Why do they report power outages on TV?

11. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

12. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

13. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

14.If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?

15. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

16. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

17. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

18. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

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